It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
