Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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