wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
