you have to choose: penises or morals?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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