Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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