the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
