You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
