I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
