Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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