I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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