i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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