What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
