I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
