he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she smelled like a LAN party
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
