Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
