It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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