are you still at the devil's house?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
