the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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