can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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