Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
