yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
