Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
