mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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