you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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