C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
