I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
