i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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