I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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