Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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