I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
