who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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