Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i now understand why vodka
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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