Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
