What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
