I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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