I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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