This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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