i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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