Do vagina's smell?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
being pregnant is like rehab
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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