He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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