i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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