so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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