pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
