She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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