matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
