I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
