I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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