would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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