I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
