I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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